Why Toddlers Throw Things: The Developmental Reasons Behind It

One minute they’re happily eating dinner.

The next, the spoon is sailing across the kitchen.

You pause.

They watch.

Gravity does the rest.

You sigh, retrieve the spoon, and hand it back.

It flies again.

If you live with a toddler, you have likely participated in this quiet daily ritual — the endless loop of pick up, drop, pick up, drop — wondering at what point you accidentally enrolled in a part-time catering job for a very small but very determined scientist.

Because that’s exactly what is happening.

Your toddler is not trying to ruin dinner.
They are running experiments.

If you’re wondering how to respond in the moment, here’s a simple step-by-step response to toddler throwing.

The Great Gravity Research Project

Toddlers spend much of their early life discovering one surprising truth:

The world responds when they act on it.

A dropped spoon makes a sound.
The dog comes running.
Mum picks it up.
The experiment works every time.

They’re asking questions like:

• What happens every time?
• Does it always make that sound?
• Does the dog come running?
• Do adults react differently if I look at them first?

They repeat not to annoy you, but to confirm a pattern. The brain at this stage is building prediction — and prediction is the foundation of understanding.

From their perspective, throwing a spoon isn’t misbehaviour.
It’s physics.

And frankly, the floor is very reliable. It never fails to catch things.

Learning to Release

We often celebrate when babies learn to grab objects.
We forget that letting go is equally complex.

Releasing requires timing, control, and coordination. A toddler is figuring out:

• how wide to open their fingers
• how much force to use
• when to release
• how objects feel as they leave the hand

So they practice.
Again.
And again.

Unfortunately, the highchair offers the perfect laboratory — the perfect little laboratory.

The Brain Behind the Throw

Impulse control lives in a part of the brain that is still under construction for several years.
Your toddler cannot yet pause and think:

“I should not throw this because it will inconvenience my caregiver.”

They think:

“I wonder what happens if…”

The action comes before reflection.

Sometimes throwing also communicates something the child doesn’t yet have words for:

• I’m finished
• I’m tired
• I want attention
• I’m frustrated
• I need movement

Sometimes the object leaves the hand because the feeling has nowhere else to go.

Many toddler behaviours are forms of communication before language develops. This guide on how to respond when your toddler hits (Montessori-based strategy) explains a similar pattern.

Why Throwing Peaks Around 18 Months

Around 18 months, many parents notice that throwing suddenly becomes… relentless.

Not because something has gone wrong.

Because several important developmental changes happen at exactly the same time.

Your toddler is walking, climbing and carrying objects from one place to another. Their hands have become much more capable, but the part of the brain responsible for impulse control is still years away from maturity.

They have ideas long before they have self-control.

They can imagine throwing the spoon.

They simply can’t stop themselves from finding out what happens next.

At the same time, curiosity is exploding.

Every day brings hundreds of new questions that can’t yet be asked with words.

Instead, they’re asked with actions.

What happens if I drop this from higher up?

Does a wooden block sound different from a metal spoon?

Will it bounce?

Will Mum still pick it up?

What can feel repetitive to us is often careful experimentation to them.

This is also the age when toddlers begin to realise they can influence the world around them.

Before now, things mostly happened to them.

Now they’re discovering that they can make things happen.

A spoon falls because they released it.

A cup rolls because they pushed it.

Someone laughs because they made a funny noise.

These tiny discoveries help build an understanding of cause and effect that will later support problem-solving, planning and self-control.

In many ways, throwing isn’t the behaviour.

It’s simply one of the first ways a toddler discovers that they have the power to change the world.

Not All Throwing Means the Same Thing

Although throwing often looks the same from the outside, the reason behind it can be completely different depending on the moment.

A spoon launched across the kitchen at breakfast isn’t necessarily the same behaviour as a toy thrown across the living room before bedtime.

During meals, throwing is often communication.

Your toddler may be telling you they’re full, tired or simply finished eating long before they know how to say those words.

During play, throwing is more likely to be exploration.

They’re comparing sounds, distances, textures and movement, collecting information about how different objects behave.

When emotions run high, throwing can become an outlet instead.

Frustration, excitement, overwhelm and even joy are big feelings for a very small nervous system.

Without the language or self-regulation skills to express those feelings differently, the body often speaks first.

The object simply becomes the messenger.

Context changes everything.

A child who throws every toy they see isn’t necessarily being defiant.

A child who throws only at the end of dinner may simply be signalling that the meal has gone on long enough.

A child who throws only when upset may be asking for help regulating feelings they don’t yet understand themselves.

Looking beyond the object and asking “What is my child trying to communicate right now?” often reveals far more than focusing on the throw itself.

Because the object rarely tells the whole story.

The moment usually does.

What They’re Actually Learning

Every throw gives the brain another piece of information.

Bit by bit, toddlers begin building a mental map of how the world works.

They learn:

• objects fall downward
• heavier items land faster
• different surfaces make different sounds
• their actions influence the environment
• adults respond predictably

To us it looks repetitive.

To them, each throw helps build a mental map of how the world works.

This is why they look so satisfied afterward — not because chaos is fun, but because the world just made sense again.

How should you respond?

Stay calm, set clear boundaries and remember that most throwing at this age is driven by learning rather than defiance.

If you’re looking for a step-by-step response for the moment it happens, read What to Do When Your Toddler Throws Things.

The Different Way to See It

It’s easy to take throwing personally.

But most toddler behaviour isn’t about us at all.

In reality, your child is not thinking about your patience, your schedule, or your freshly mopped floor.

They are thinking:

“The world changed because of me.”

And that discovery is deeply important.

Because before a child can control their actions, they must first understand they have impact.

Throwing is often the first proof.

The Quiet Shift

When we recognise the purpose behind behaviour, our response softens.

We still guide.
We still set limits.
But frustration changes into translation.

Instead of seeing a small human creating mess, we see a mind building order.

You will still pick up the spoon many times.
But it may feel slightly less like defeat — and slightly more like participation in a very early stage of understanding how the world works.

And eventually, the experiments change.

Every spoon thrown, every cup dropped and every toy launched across the room is your toddler collecting information about the world.

They aren’t trying to make life difficult.

They’re discovering that their actions have consequences, that objects behave predictably, and that they can influence the world around them.

That understanding becomes the foundation for problem-solving, confidence and self-control later on.

The throwing won’t last forever.

One day, instead of dropping the spoon, they’ll ask why it falls.

And you’ll realise those messy little experiments were the beginning of something much bigger.

If throwing is happening alongside big emotions, it can also help to know what to say in those moments. These 10 things to say during a toddler meltdown can support connection without escalating behaviour.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal for toddlers to throw things?

Yes. Throwing is a common part of toddler development, especially between around 12 and 24 months. In most cases, it’s driven by curiosity, developing motor skills and communication—not deliberate defiance.

Why does my toddler keep throwing things?

Toddlers often throw things because they’re learning how the world works. Throwing helps them explore cause and effect, practise releasing objects, improve hand coordination and communicate feelings before they have the words to express them. While it can be frustrating, it’s usually a normal part of development rather than deliberate misbehaviour.

Is it normal for toddlers to throw food on the floor?

Yes. Throwing food is common, particularly between 12 and 24 months. It may be your toddler’s way of experimenting, showing they’re full, seeking attention or simply practising a new skill. Staying calm, keeping mealtimes predictable and offering a place to put unwanted food can help reduce the behaviour over time.

At what age do toddlers stop throwing things?

Most toddlers throw objects most frequently between one and two years of age. As language, impulse control and emotional regulation develop, the behaviour usually becomes much less common. Every child develops at their own pace, so some children may continue experimenting for longer than others.

Should I ignore my toddler when they throw things?

It depends on the situation. If your toddler is throwing objects to explore or get a reaction, staying calm and avoiding dramatic responses is often the most effective approach. However, if they’re throwing something that could hurt themselves or someone else, it’s important to step in immediately, set a clear boundary and remove the object if necessary.

Why does my toddler throw toys when they’re angry?

Young children often express frustration physically because they don’t yet have the language or self-control to manage strong emotions. Throwing toys can be a sign that your toddler is overwhelmed, tired or struggling to communicate. A calm response, alongside helping them name their feelings, gradually teaches more appropriate ways to cope.

How can I stop my toddler from throwing everything?

Rather than trying to stop the behaviour completely, focus on teaching what your toddler can do instead. Offer appropriate opportunities to throw balls outdoors, transfer objects between containers or post items into boxes. During meals, keep portions small, reduce distractions and calmly remove items if throwing continues. Consistent responses and plenty of opportunities to practise appropriate movement usually help the phase pass more quickly.

When should I worry about a toddler throwing things?

Occasional throwing is a normal developmental stage. However, if the behaviour is persistent, becomes aggressive, regularly causes injuries, or is accompanied by significant delays in communication or other developmental concerns, it’s worth discussing with your health visitor, GP or paediatrician for further advice.